What it means to be a Man

Mostly lifted from http://www.upworthy.com/a-dad-explained-trumps-words-to-his-sons-and-made-a-powerful-point-about-masculinity?c=ufb1  by Derek Steele

"Men at times talk like that." — Rudy Giuliani, defending Trump boasting about sexual assault as "locker-room talk"

Hong En and Hong Yu:

Fortunately right now you are too young to be exposed to or interested in political discourse. And you are much too young to have Facebook accounts. But I imagine there will be a time in the not too distant future when you are on Facebook and we'll be friends. I also imagine that at some point after that whether out of boredom or interest you'll look back through your old man's posts for some funny stories and maybe some tidbits of wisdom — so I'll leave this right here for you.

Men do not, at times, talk like that. Sure some individuals with an X and Y chromosome like you may say something like that, but we do not call them Men. We call them perverts, abusers, or rapists — not Men. Real Men don't do that and wouldn't even think to say that.

You will hear a lot of people tell you what Men do or what it takes to 'be a Man'. The vast majority of it will be total garbage. If you want to be a Man, forget about machoism or sexual conquest. Being a Man is not about that. It's about protecting those around you who are weak or innocent — maybe a child being bullied or your own children. It's being awake at all hours of the night to warm a bottle, change a diaper, change the sheets on a wet bed or even worse. Men get puked on, pooped on, bled on and cried on. It's about being open with someone, vulnerable and accountable. It's admitting your mistakes and failures — in all its ugliness — and seeking forgiveness, over and over and over again. Real Men play dress up and enjoy tea parties and will make a complete fool out of themselves just to hear a child laugh. They cry, even weep, when the situation calls for it. They respect, honor and cherish women because all of them are human — created in the image of the Creator.

It's tough being a Man. Hardest work you'll ever do. So when someone tries to justify abhorrent words and behavior by sullying your good reputation as a Man — be angry and speak up. Don't let them define you down by their conduct. In short — be a Man.

Sincerely,
Your Dad

Growing up too fast

EnEn and Didi have turned 3 and 1 respectively in late Feb and late March. Every night, as I cuddle my oldest tight and rock him. The whole time, my mind is analysing how big he’s gotten, how he barely fits on my lap anymore, how he’s no longer my small baby, how he’s become a boy. Where does the time go? I wonder.

Wasn’t it just yesterday that you fit perfectly into the nook of my arms?

Sometimes I stare at him, trying to imagine what he will look like all grown up. And every time I am surprised by the aging face of the little boy staring back at me. He’s not so little, anymore. I talk to myself: “You’re getting so big! Why do you have to grow? Stay my little kiddo forever.” Obviously we can’t stop them from growing, but I wish I could.

These moments of parenthood that are frustrating and hard, where I find myself saying, “I just can’t take it!” These are the moments taken for granted. These moments will end. They will not last forever. I want to cherish these moments while he is still small—small enough to need me, small enough to still want me to hold him and kiss him and take care of him. For one day, he will be all grown up, and he won’t need his parents anymore. And I will find myself longing to do it all over again.

There will come a day when my home will no longer be filled with the sounds of children laughing. When all of the screaming and yelling will stop. Sooner than I think, it will become all too quiet for my comfort—a silent void aching for time to rewind.

I do not know yet how it feels to have them grow up, head off to the school, orthe SAF, or get married and start families of their own. But I can tell you, I have thought about this, and I both look forward to and dread this moment in life more than anything.

For now, I will sit and soak up these precious and fleeting moments, because time is a friend that cuts both ways,  and soon I will be left with nothing more than my fondest memories.

To my boys: I love you both very much and both Mama and myself hope you both understand the love we have for you.

Text adapted from this place, Just because the post 99% accurately echo my own feelings

Something Wistful....

The Last Time

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,
you will never be the same.
You might long for the person you were before,
When you have freedom and time,
And nothing in particular to worry about.

You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
And days will run into days that are exactly the same,
Full of feedings and burping,
Nappy changes and crying,
Whining and fighting,
Naps or a lack of naps,
It might seem like a never-ending cycle.

But don’t forget …
There is a last time for everything.
There will come a time when you will feed
your baby for the very last time.
They will fall asleep on you after a long day
And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.

One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down,
And never pick them up that way again.
You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.
They will hold your hand to cross the road,
Then never reach for it again.
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,
And it will be the last night you ever wake to this.

One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus”
and do all the actions,
Then never sing them that song again.
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face.
They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
Until there are no more times.
And even then, it will take you a while to realize.

So while you are living in these times,
remember there are only so many of them
and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them.
For one last time.

-Author Unknown-