Yu Ling's post : 16/03/2015

Some thoughts from the wifey:

16mar- These few weeks prior to delivery had been extremely precious as I will take every chance to spend time with En, carry him, bringing him out, give all the attention he needs..

It has been a been a long time since i last carried En and now that i could secretly carry him in the room, its such a warm feeling.. And in some way, I can understand what KJ means when he says it's a blessing to be able to carry your child.

Cos after delivery it will be even more impossible to do one or the other..
Lately en has been requesting KJ to recite gong gong, jiu jiu, ah gong etc which puts me off totally and I had to stop them.. 

KJ's remarks: Well meaning relatives/ friends/ seniors from 1 or 2 generations prior would generally advise against carrying children too much, saying that they will get used to it, makes them cling on to you... etc.

Generally I think I'll agree that they are right generally.

However, I also believe that they'll grow out of it very soon. How long can we as parents carry them?  As parents you might also notice that it is also the same group of people who advised you against carrying them would be also asking to carry your kiddo.

This advice probably would be very sound 30 years or more ago.

30 or more years ago, I think there is very good reason to do as they did, that is a time where at least one parent stayed home and it would almost always be the mother. It is also an era where domestic helpers are practically unheard of (only well to do towkays have "ah-mahs"). This means that the mother has got her hands full literally with all the housework and other household obligations, including taking care of other siblings.

Also, as many can attest to, carrying a child for extended hours can be very strength sapping, and mothers/ women generally just doesn't have as much muscular strength as fathers/ men do.

That is only for one child. In the baby boomer era, you might have to do this for multiple children, which makes it ..... impractical if not not impossible to.

Today, families generally are dual income, with probably 2 or even fewer children, and are spaced normally 2 years or more apart. The time that is spent with children are limited to night, just maybe 2-3 hours before bedtime, and weekends, where very soon the kids will be inundated with enhancement/ enrichment/ remedial/ tuition classes. How much time do parents really with their kids?

So....if you don't carry them now when you can (and they let you), when will you EVER be able to?